Thursday, August 8, 2013

Palms Up

I have spent my whole life in the church: Sunday School and VBS as a child, youth group as a teen, a young adult who attended Bible study, and now a mother who takes her own children to church and teaches VBS. Throughout those many years I have always had a connection to the women who served God.

The one who stands out in my mind the most was a Godly woman, a kind sweet grandmotherly type who was always there at every church function. She would help teach Sunday school and always had a special dish at each church potluck dinner. She always had a smile on her face and God's love beaming throughout the community through her. If you needed something, you could always call on her. Carrie spent her life in service of the Lord and she meant so much to me that, years later, I would name my own daughter after her.

Over the years I had many wonderful role models, women who devoted much of their lives to God. These women said "Yes" when God presented a need and did so in a seemingly effortless way- without fear, worry, or stress.

Why then, does it seem so difficult for me?

I truly believe that God is an ever-present force in my life. He hears me, comforts me, provides for me, and wants to direct me. I WANT to do his will. I WANT to do his work.

So what is holding me back?

For years, I have felt unworthy- after all, I am just a plain old mother, teacher, wife- one of those who goes through life doing what just comes naturally. I watched my mother get up early to cook and prepare for our family's daily life; Now I do the same. I am a normal woman. I make mistakes. I stumble over my words. I don't always know the right verse at the right time to comfort or help someone. Don't I need to be more than that? Don't I need to be more Perfect? More like those Godly women from throughout my life?

This week, during the "What Happens When Women Say Yes to God" Bible Study I realized that I DON'T!

God doesn't require a perfect woman. God doesn't require that I respond to each situation in a perfect manner. God just requires that I have a desire to serve him and a will to do what he asks.

In my youthful eyes, I saw Carrie as a perfectly Godly woman, but I am sure that there were times when she got out of bed and felt a bit too tired to go to church or a bit too bored with the same Sunday school routine. I am sure that she was not perfect- but she certainly had a perfectly willing spirit. THAT is what I want to have!

Lord, I am here--- hands open--- palms up! Ready and waiting to hear what you would have me to do. Use me to do your will. AMEN


  1. Thank you for sharing your beautiful post.

  2. Your post reminds me so much of my family. Unworthy. I have witnessed the struggle in my mom, sisters and myself. I love to remind myself of Isaiah 43 when I am feeling unworthy. It's so precious to hear God's word speak to me in this way. That I am worthy. That He will fight for me. That He loves me wholly. I will pray blessings for you today and this week, that as we go along this study together, God will honor your decision to choose His will over your feelings. That's a big deal:)! And I understand because I have struggled with the same! God bless!

  3. LOVE THIS!!! It reminds me so much of that picture/saying that has made the rounds on Facebook, about comparing our inside to someone else's outside. I think we have ALL felt this way at times--I know I always think I am nothing special, just a regular everyday person. But we are ALL special to God and we don't need to be anything more than we already are to say Yes to Him. Thanks for sharing!!

    Kris Danko (OBS Small Group Leader)

  4. A perfectly willing spirit! Love that.
    Hope you have a wonderful school year. Saying a special prayer for you and all your students today =)

  5. Your post brings a smile to my heart. This speaks volumes to me: 'a perfectly willing spirit"

    Thank you!

  6. I think most women struggle with these feelings. I know I do! And as soon as we realize that, it's easier to let those feelings go and get to work. Good luck to you. I'm sure you have many people who already look up to you and wish they could be more like you! :)