Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Hello..... Is Anyone Out There?

I know you are out there somewhere- the other women who are like me: nearing 50 years of age, getting ready to send a child off to college, and retirement looming just over the horizon- close enough to catch a glimpse of it, but not near enough to make a run for it.

I find myself at a crossroads- maybe not a crossroads, so much as a point on a timeline: I've put in most of my productive years at work, I've raised one child to college age and another is nearing it, I've spent almost 20 years trying to maintain a happy marriage. Now I stand here looking into the future and I see only a fog covering a large open area. I've never really thought about life AFTER 50 or life AFTER retirement or life AFTER the kids leave.

It seems like many of the things that once brought me pleasure just aren't cutting it anymore. For years I have scrapbooked and crafted, cutting and gluing photos and bits of paper, trying to document the daily happenings of my life. It was my therapy, my release, and my own personal artform. I must be truthful and tell you that I have not completed one page in a scrapbook album this summer. Don't get me wrong, I have tried, but all of my efforts have just seemed too BLAH. I didn't feel that inner joy that I used to get when the pictures and the papers came together in just the right way. I miss that feeling of personal satisfaction that I felt when I completed a project.

I find myself searching, digging inside myself to find the REAL ME, the one who will face the coming decades. That is why I am writing this blog. I want to document my search. I am hoping that there are others out there who will step into this journey with me. Feel free to comment. Support me, chastise me, laugh with me, or comfort me. Just be here to help me rediscover ME.


  1. I smiled when I read your entry. I am also in transition in my life. My only child, who has special needs, begins college next month. I have a lifelong illness, which continues to be a challenge on a daily basis. My doctor put me on disability status for one month. Luckily, I am fortunate to have great benefits at work. My Husband is wonderful!
    You had many life changes this summer. Give yourself time to "just be".

    Doing so will bring answers to these questions:
    What relaxes you?
    What encourages creativity?
    What was your favorite activity as a child?
    Will exercise help you to physically and mentally feel better?

    One thing which frames my thinking is to list 5 things which I am grateful for each day. I write it in a small journal. Writing, instead of mentally reviewing gratitude, automatically makes me focus on what I am blessed with in my life. Good Luck. I'll continue to follow your blog.

  2. Hi
    I am glad I found your blog. Great idea to help you cope with these big changes in your life. I too am feeling like you are. I am married for 24 years have raised to beautiful sons, ages 23 and 21. I have always been a stay at home Mom so it feels like I have lost my job and I don't know what to do with myself. I used to love everything about being creative and relished in new ideas and projects. I feel kinda blah and I sure hope this passes soon. I think this happens to many women and that in time we will find new purposes and get to know ourselves again. Always have FAITH and HOPE for PEACE and LOVE everyone in your life and somehow it will be alright:) Hugs, Sandi

  3. Hi,
    I am 52 and married, I understand how you feel. I have one son in college. My daughter graduated from college with her degree in Elementary education and she married her high school sweetheart in June. We love our empty nest most of the time. I will write more later. We are camping and it is time for S'mores.

  4. Good luck with your new blog and your rediscovery. I know what you mean about things you liked not bringing you the enjoyment or you don't look forward to it as you use to - I feel the same way.

    I know you know that you are blessed, with a husband, a child and a good life. Try to be positive, the best is yet to come.

  5. you are so NOT alone on this journey.
    i am 48...last year my 'baby' left for college - i don't think i could have cried more - i still have two 12 year olds at home, but having the first one leave was so hard. When he was home at Christmas it was great and each time he came home/left again it got easier and easier.

    i won't even go into what my craft/art room looks like - if you saw it you'd surely nominate me for 'Hoarders' as there is much there but it is just sitting - waiting for inspiration.

    i've added your blog to my ritual readings....